What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
