i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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