i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
