i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
