FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
