His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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