Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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