Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
