i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
