She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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