One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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