whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
