He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
