she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
