Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
