It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You ate ashes out of my bong
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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