It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Randomize
