Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
