i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
