watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
they need to just BURY HIM!
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
