i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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