Someone shit on the floor
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
