Are we in a gay sports bar?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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