he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
