Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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