My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
