Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
