Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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