i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
