i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
