I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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