someone get that fucking seahorse.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
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there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
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Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
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