the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
