Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
