So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
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