I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
