STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I need a beard to bite.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
