I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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