oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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