I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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