i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
