he wants to bone in the snuggie
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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