glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
i need some magic done to my vagina
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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