While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
