I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
soo... how was my night?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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