"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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