We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
