Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
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You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
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I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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