Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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