Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
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Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
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Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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