He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
