I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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