you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
