Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
