it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
