Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
