just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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