last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I look better un-naked...
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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