Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
