Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
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