I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
