I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
